Why does this have to be so blasted hard?

Clearly my cynicism is fading.

Shoot.

One last post:

Okay, I think this one is one for anybody...

Tonight, my baby brother took a trip to the ER. That wasn't as terrifying to me as hearing why he went. He 'snapped' his neck in a fall in judo practice. One of the first things you learn in judo, is how to fall. Well, apparently he fell funny and did something funky to his neck. Well, hearing that your little brother began hyper-ventilating and had difficulty maintaining consciousness, should be enough to scare the shit out of anybody.

I realized two things as a result of this.

1) I am nowhere near as strong as I think I am, or pretend to be

2) I don't think I could handle anything happening to anyone in my family, especially my siblings. I just don't think I'm strong enough. However, in James we are told "Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.'" (James 4:14-15)

Case in point: I really love my family.

Change

I've made a new blog that only one person will have access to ... find it if you can.

And yes ... I will be talking about you in it

muahahah

Hope?

It's common knowledge that once you feel like you have a grasp on things in one area of your life, another area falls apart. Or, maybe it's not common knowledge and just happens to me. I felt like I was really getting a grasp on my pride, and not letting it control me. And then, poof, 5 relationships hit rock in the space of 3 days. Wow. Kind of amazing. I'm sure there is some kind of lesson to be learned from this. Maybe I'll blog again once I figure out what it is.

1. Day by day, and with each passing moment,
   Strength I find, to meet my trials here;
   Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,
   I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.
   He Whose heart is kind beyond all measure
   Gives unto each day what He deems best—
   Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure,
   Mingling toil with peace and rest.
2. Every day, the Lord Himself is near me
   With a special mercy for each hour;
   All my cares He fain would bear, and cheer me,
   He Whose Name is Counselor and Pow’r.
   The protection of His child and treasure
   Is a charge that on Himself He laid;
   “As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,”
   This the pledge to me He made.
3. Help me then in every tribulation
   So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,
   That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation
   Offered me within Thy holy Word.
   Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,
   E’er to take, as from a father’s hand,
   One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
   Till I reach the promised land.

Loyalties

Okay,

I was born in New York and raised in Missouri. So, I'm a Cardinals fan first, a Mets fan second. Therefore, I loathe the Yankees....

Go Phillies.

P.S. then there was one ... :(

I miss my friend.

It has taken me 18 years to be able to successfully hide my emotions when needed... it's about time.

Peace

I dropped my phone into a big puddle today. It is still working ... for now. All in all, it has been a stressful week. I can't wait for Saturday when I can rest and be with my family. But, that means I must make it through one more day of fire first.

"When peace like a river, attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll.

Whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say,

It is well with my soul."