One last post:

Okay, I think this one is one for anybody...

Tonight, my baby brother took a trip to the ER. That wasn't as terrifying to me as hearing why he went. He 'snapped' his neck in a fall in judo practice. One of the first things you learn in judo, is how to fall. Well, apparently he fell funny and did something funky to his neck. Well, hearing that your little brother began hyper-ventilating and had difficulty maintaining consciousness, should be enough to scare the shit out of anybody.

I realized two things as a result of this.

1) I am nowhere near as strong as I think I am, or pretend to be

2) I don't think I could handle anything happening to anyone in my family, especially my siblings. I just don't think I'm strong enough. However, in James we are told "Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.'" (James 4:14-15)

Case in point: I really love my family.

Change

I've made a new blog that only one person will have access to ... find it if you can.

And yes ... I will be talking about you in it

muahahah

Hope?

It's common knowledge that once you feel like you have a grasp on things in one area of your life, another area falls apart. Or, maybe it's not common knowledge and just happens to me. I felt like I was really getting a grasp on my pride, and not letting it control me. And then, poof, 5 relationships hit rock in the space of 3 days. Wow. Kind of amazing. I'm sure there is some kind of lesson to be learned from this. Maybe I'll blog again once I figure out what it is.

1. Day by day, and with each passing moment,
   Strength I find, to meet my trials here;
   Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,
   I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.
   He Whose heart is kind beyond all measure
   Gives unto each day what He deems best—
   Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure,
   Mingling toil with peace and rest.
2. Every day, the Lord Himself is near me
   With a special mercy for each hour;
   All my cares He fain would bear, and cheer me,
   He Whose Name is Counselor and Pow’r.
   The protection of His child and treasure
   Is a charge that on Himself He laid;
   “As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,”
   This the pledge to me He made.
3. Help me then in every tribulation
   So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,
   That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation
   Offered me within Thy holy Word.
   Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,
   E’er to take, as from a father’s hand,
   One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
   Till I reach the promised land.

Loyalties

Okay,

I was born in New York and raised in Missouri. So, I'm a Cardinals fan first, a Mets fan second. Therefore, I loathe the Yankees....

Go Phillies.

P.S. then there was one ... :(

I miss my friend.

It has taken me 18 years to be able to successfully hide my emotions when needed... it's about time.

Peace

I dropped my phone into a big puddle today. It is still working ... for now. All in all, it has been a stressful week. I can't wait for Saturday when I can rest and be with my family. But, that means I must make it through one more day of fire first.

"When peace like a river, attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll.

Whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say,

It is well with my soul."

Doesn't get much clearer...

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

Well, there goes the theory that we play any role in our Salvation. Bam - gone. Bye bye.

Liz

a proverb

There's a very good reason why you shouldn't dig too deep into something. You eventually find something you really didn't want to know...

Can you say... "awkward" ???

Well, I have 3 midterms tomorrow and a paper due Friday - this sucks. Blahhhhh. Guess RUF will have to be skipped. But, I got to see Josh this weekend!!! It was amazing. We had so much fun. The weather was pretty decent, but Josh's flight to Columbia got cancelled. Too bad his flight back home couldn't have been cancelled as well.

Sidenote: For various reasons, which I will not detail... today has been a day of uncomfortable realizations. Between Josh and I, the day has been full of teasing and awkward comments.

I'm scared.

For the ladies

"Giving birth is one of those things that is part of life, specifically a part of life for women. It's hard and painful and guys don't have to do it, but it's not something new or unbearable. It's your part in the curse of the fall and you should just take it...take it without complaining or don't have kids"

What would you say to a man who says this?? Just wonderin.

Yesterday ... was a shitty day. Let's hope today will be better.

Live out loud

A few things:

1) I don't like hearing about what Kanye West did at the VMA awards when I'm trying to take an exam - I find it makes my patience decrease rapidly.

2) I really need to work on forgiving people ...

3) I get to see my family tomorrow!!!!!!!! Who knows when we'll all be together like this again?

4) My mom bought me raspberries today ... my mom is awesome.

Ahem

I won ...

You lost

That's all

Goodnight

- Liz

Make it work!

Today has been a good day.

When I say good I don't mean that everything has fallen in line or that my every whimsical wish was granted. Rather, it is a good day just to live. The weather here is beautiful and as I walk around MU I am amazed by the beauty of creation.

I had my religious studies class today and here is something I took away from it:

"(Religion's) Moods and motivations seem uniquely realistic. Moods and motivations induced by religion seem so powerful to believers that they only seem to be the sensible version of what things 'really are'"

Sad huh? My teacher then proceeded to tell us that we get so wrapped in our religion that we are unable to believe anything else is true. The reason for this is simple to me - nothing else is true. Nothing else is true save for the gospel and consistency of Jesus Christ.

I thank God for the blessings he has bestowed on me:

1) An amazing family

2) The best man I could ask for as my boyfriend

3) An incredible roommate

4) A good education

5) The assurance of my salvation

Well, Em just got back so we're going to make a coffee run. ;) That's all for now!

Dare you to move

I headed to Johnston lounge tonight with the intention of studying. I sat down and realized that I needed to be alone with God. I have a copy of the ESV Study Bible on my computer so I opened the link and went to my favorite passage:

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do... You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness... For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” ...For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God... For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience... And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I cannot count how many times I've read these words of hope, love, and forgiveness and yet each time I read them, I am struck by how much I need God's grace. This is my goal for this blog:

It is my sincerest wish to bestow grace and mercy upon my fellow man just as Christ has bestowed mercy and grace to me. This will be my account - my successes, my failures. I would like you to reprimand me (in love) when I fail and encourage me when I am frustrated and pray that I would succeed, with God's help.

So, that said, I would like to talk a little about some things I have learned recently.

1) I have learned (to my shame), that the only religion I have a hard time accepting, is Islam. When learning about it in my religious studies I could feel something akin to hatred welling up inside of me. There was so much tolerance in the room and when Christianity was brought up, that tolerance was immediately gone. I want to scream at the unfairness of it all!

2) I am an all or nothing person. I hate this about myself and thus the attempt to bestow grace and mercy. It amazes me when I see my roommate, who is plagued by some terrible people (in my opinion), show grace! She loves them anyway while I make my distaste for people visible. What did Christ say about forgiveness? Because of my pride and my unwillingness to accept everyone else's imperfections, I'm endangering one of the most important relationships in my life.

Well, I think this will be all for now. I do want this blog to be a blog of hope ... My mom is so fond of reminding me that humility is remembering the bad and the good. Only remembering one or the other is pride. Ooops. :) I love my mom.